Monday, March 12, 2007

If Jesus Were Alive Today

If Jesus were to do His same ministry on earth over again today, He would be wanted by...

  • ...the FDA for turning water into wine without a license
  • ...the EPA for killing fig trees
  • ...the AMA for practicing medicine without a license
  • ...the DEPT of HEALTH for asking people to open graves, for raising the dead, and feeding 5,000 people in the wilderness
  • ...the NEA for teaching without a certificate
  • ...OSHA for walking on water without a life-jacket and for flying without an airplane
  • ...the SPCA for driving hogs into the sea
  • ...the NATIONAL BOARD of PSYCHIATRISTS for giving advice on how to live a guilt-free life
  • ...the NOW for not choosing a woman apostle
  • ...the ABORTION RIGHTS LEAGUE for saying that whoever harms children, it is better that they had never been born
  • ...the INTER-FAITH MOVEMENT for condemning all other religions
  • ...and by the ZONING DEPT for building mansions without a permit

  • Jesus would be wanted by the BATF for ordering his disciples to carry arms.
  • He would be wanted for sedition by the FBI for promoting the Kingdom of God.
  • He would be sued by the ACLU for teaching religion in public places.
  • He would be charged with HATE CRIMES for threats against lawyers, religious leaders, and public officials.
  • He would be targeted as a homophobe by GLAAD and ACT-UP for his stance on homosexuals.
  • He would be cited by the NATIONAL PARK FISH AND WILDLIFE DEPT. for exceeding the daily fishing limit.
  • He would be condemned by PETA for cruelty to animals for drowning 2,000 pigs and riding into town on a donkey.
  • He would be wanted by the Feds for driving the money changers out of the temple
  • He would be branded as a Terrorist Cult Leader by Janet Reno and the DOJ for predicting the tearing down of the temple.

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